The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone Get the facts ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing instead of a have a peek at these guys 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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