The Sex Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is you could check here a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with webpage your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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